Remembering Someone With All Of Your Heart

It might only happen now and again, but throughout the course of our life, we can often expect to be touched deeply by someone we truly care about. This person might have protected you, guided you, helped shape your worldview. Perhaps you did the same for them. Perhaps you loved each other, or even more intimately, were great friends. After all, friendship is the only form of love that only contributes, and does not expect out of obligation.

But unfortunately, the ways of life can sometimes separate us from that person. They might move away, they might leave us due to circumstance, or they might pass away. Losing someone you truly loved, on good terms, is perhaps one of the hardest human emotions to feel. We can feel a great sense of loss, and it can truly overpower us if we’re not careful.

Of course, this post will make absolutely no assumptions as to how you should be feeling, what you should do, or what is healthiest for you. We trust you will find that path yourself. But we will try and help you honor that person, remember them, and consider how you might respect their memory in the most beautiful sense.

Let us begin:

Journal

When you’re worrying, stressing or feeling pain over losing someone dear to you, it can be hard to know what emotions to feel. Of course, you shouldn’t ‘have’ to feel a certain emotion, all are valid. However, it is known that some emotions do have a habit of sticking around and weighing us down when we’re trying to move on, and that’s no fun in the slightest. This means that looking for a healthy means of expressing those emotions can help you process the event more, even if iit makes you confront those emotions directly. This can be hard to do, but ultimately, it’s the best way to help you heal, or at least start to understand the confusion you must be feeling.

There are many means of expressing yourself. Sing around the house if you wish. Perhaps engage in a sport or exercise to get rid of your stagnant energy. Talk to someone you care about, or perhaps even a therapist should you find yourself in need of impartial and practical targeted help. We would also like to suggest that journaling can be extremely productive here. This is because almost everyone can afford a notebook and a pen. You don’t need anything fancy to get started. Although, if required, you can find many options online, such as Penzu.

Remember, you don’t need to edit your writing or conform yourself particularly. You’re not writing an essay here. You don’t need to cite sources, or even come to any conclusions. Simply describing how you’re feeling can be a good start. Then, a somewhat magical thing will happen. Once you write one thing, another thing will come to mind. Then another. Then, another. Before you know it, you will have reams of writing that you mightn’t have even known you had in you. You might come back to read it in the future, or you might not. Either is valid. But the act of bringing it out of you in the written word can feel like you’ve managed to express your emotions onto paper, and just like any form of communicative therapy, there is a slight chance you might learn something about yourself. You will also likely feel better.

A Symbol

It can be quite wonderful to find something to symbolize the person you had loved. Perhaps you might find a picture of the two of you together, and take that to an illustrative artist to come away with a beautiful rendition you can frame and cherish for some time. Perhaps you might decide to plant and arrange a phalaenopsis orchid, a flower that denotes a great symbol of pride, strength, beauty, love and vitality. To us, there’s hardly a better way to celebrate someone than through something that represents those virtues, and is also so beautiful.

But of course, you needn’t be so artistic. Perhaps you might wish to do some good in their name. Let’s use a specific example for this. Perhaps your Grandmother has passed away. You loved her with all your heart, and for the most part considered her your true best friend. You have some autonomy over her belongings after she passed. Perhaps you were there to help tidy her apartment, some of the items there she left to you, others became yours by circumstance. It might be that selling non-important items could raise a little money and prevent you from throwing them away. Perhaps you could use that money to help donate to her favourite charity, or her favourite function or event. Perhaps you could donate to a charity that researches medical solutions to the aging illness she suffered from. A symbol can be a powerful thing if you give it some thought, and might also function as an element of closure for you. That’s a fine thing to care for.

Don’t Forget Them

Of course, we often think that moving on requires us forget that person to an extent, or perhaps to think of them less. This is somewhat true. If you do not consider that you will ever move on, you will ruminate on this sadness until it truly stifles every part of your life. But that doesn’t mean the opposite effect need to be chased after, and you should do everything possible to forget them. It’s okay if they touched your life in a way you would like to remember. Electing not to forget them, and remind yourself of them from time to time can help you continue to honor them, because none of us are really gone should there be someone to lovingly remember us.

With these tips, we hope that whatever sadness or sense of loss you are going through right now is eased just a little. Our only final request is that you continue to take good care of yourself during this trying time.