2019 New Years’ Resolutions: A Distinction Between Goals and Wishes

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. I just don’t. I think Dry January is boring and I stayed in with my pug Sonny on New Year’s Eve this year because having puppy cuddles was way more appealing than an overpriced, overhyped and way below average night out and countdown to just another time on the clock…

However I have been trying to make some changes and so in the spirit of the New Year, I am going to be sharing with you my 2019 goals and wishes.

I’ve separated these into two categories as I know full well some of these I have control over, and some of these I don’t. I think resolutions tend to become blurred and I’m trying to become more accountable for my actions, so this separation will hopefully help keep me on track and prevent me from blaming myself when a ‘wish’ doesn’t come true come 2020.

Stay accountable for my health and fitness

Following a New Year consultation with my personal trainer, Squatbot, at the weekend, we have decided to shake up my training routine for 2019 to reflect a more positive attitude towards it. Instead of counting calories and feeling crap about myself when I have a ‘bad’ day, we are no longer going to have ‘good days’ and ‘bad days’. We are going to have good decisions and to help me stay responsible for them we have an accountability tracker that I tick every day, divided into sections for workouts, food and balanced lifestyle choices.

So, for my main 2019 health and fitness goals:

• Workout 3 – 5 times a week – last year I worked out 3 times a week in 1-2-1 sessions with Squatbot, which I loved during the session, but it was stressful trying to fit in around my busy work schedule where I travel most weeks and work late hours. This year, I’ll start by trying to do a Saturday personal training sessions and then work out 2, then 3, then maybe even 4 times a week on my own in a gym in town. Scary. But I’ll do it

• Walk 10,000 steps a day – walking sounds easy but when you have a desk job like me, it can really hard to fit in enough steps a day. This year I’ll be trying to take Sonny for more (and longer) walks after work, and during work get up and go for a stroll around town at lunch time

• Sleep 8 hours a night – again, difficult for me to do often when I work late nights for events and travel most weeks, but I do need to sleep more and I have started meditating to try and zone me out at night

• Eat more protein and vegetables – again, I just need to make cooking for myself work around my work hours. And if not, then make sensible choices when I dine out for work or visit events. I’m going to aim to have protein with most meals (which is difficult when I have a predominantly meat free diet) and cut down on the junk food nibbles at work

• Not drink alcohol every day – simple. I don’t support dry January but I also want to cut down on alcohol, which again, comes with the job of networking and entertaining, but also to not feel like I want a glass of wine to help me unwind at home on my own

• Budget my finances weekly/monthly – I am lucky in that I don’t need to look after my finances too strictly but I did find myself being frivolous with money in 2018. I don’t want to restrict myself totally and I still want to buy treats and a round of drinks for mates at the bar, but in 2019 I will aim to give myself a weekly budget to stick to on my Monzo card based on an overall monthly budget from my salary

And my main 2019 health and fitness wishes:

• Feel confident working out on my own in a gym – not gonna lie, I have real anxiety about training in the free weights section alongside all the hench bros in my new gym and comparing my thick thighs and love handles to the gym bunnies in crop tops in the gym. By the end of the year I want to feel secure and maybe even enjoy going to a gym on my own.

• Drop a dress size – it’s no secret as I’ve got older and worked longer hours, I have put on a few stone but instead of concentrating on weight, I would like to simply drop a dress size and feel totally comfortable in size 12 clothes. I’m no longer yearning after the size 8 – 10 jeans I once wore, I am accepting that a size 12 is probably my best size.

Prioritise self-care and development

In 2018 I had a lot of big life changes. I lived in the USA for a while, I came home, made some big decisions and had a massive change of career, which definitely took over my year. I absolutely love my job and have already learnt so much, but to help my 2019 stay more balanced my goals are.

2019 personal development goals:

• Stop checking emails after 9pm – I am guilty of checking my work emails and replying to them at all hours, but, everyone needs balance and so I will be logging off an hour or so before bed

• Take an educational course – I want to keep learning, there’s always more to learn, and so in 2019 I want to complete a course to learn something new. Ideally this would help me in work to bring something new to the table, but I am not sure what yet…

• Converse simply in French – in 2018 I started learning French from scratch to help me communicate when I visit Geneva with work and in 2019 I want to be able to have a simply ‘hi, how are you?’ greetings chat with my Swiss colleagues

• Evaluate my work once a month – keep on track. I’d do this for my staff so I will be evaluating my own performance at work too to help me progress and learn

Self-care plans for 2019:

• Have 1 night in a week – this might not seem like a big goal to some, but for me it is. It’s so easy to get caught up in work and trying to make the most of my free time that at the end of 2018 I didn’t spend enough time at home for myself and for Sonny

• Read 3 books – 3 books in a year might not seem like much, but I haven’t had time to read in so long and I was such an avid reader as a kid

• Take yoga classes – I have experimented with yoga at the end of my PT sessions and at home, but in 2019 I want to go to actual real life yoga classes

Self-care wishes for 2019:

• Rediscover my spirituality – I have always felt something of a connection to crystals and the mystical. I can’t shake it. I have tried to embrace science and the older I get the more I keep going back to crystals and spiritual healing and mediation, so in 2019 I wish for myself to rediscover my spiritual side.

Friends and family

I felt very lucky in 2018 to have grown closer to some incredible new friends and get to know a lot more people in my life. I am especially grateful for my family who in 2018 I cried in front of when I had my feelings hurt by mean boys, and my indestructible girl gang who surround me with positivity and encouragement in both my career and personal life, as well as feeling, well, like family to my friends Michele and Russ who asked me to be their Bridesmaid at their 2020 wedding. A true honour. So in 2019 I want to make sure I am being a better friend.

2019 friends goals:

• Text more people first – I am guilty of sometimes neglecting text messages so I want to be more proactive at checking in with friends and encouraging them when they might need it

• Go on holiday with a friend(s) – I’ve never been on a proper holiday with friends. In 2019 I want to try at least a weekend away abroad with pals to see what it’s like (plus I want a holiday)

• Meet up with different friends every month – with us all working busy jobs it can be hard to reconnect with friends so once a month I will aim to meet a different group of pals for drinks or dinner to catch up

• Prioritise mates over dates – something I tried to balance in 2018. In 2018 I went on a lot of unnecessary dates in the hopes of finding a connection. In 2019 I will be letting my friends vet my dates first to ensure I am not wasting my time, saying no to timewasting men, and keeping my heart full with my friends instead

2019 friends wishes:

• Meet someone – something I don’t really have control over but something I really wish for is to fall madly in love, have a whirlwind romance and get married after 3 months. In its least complicated form I would love to meet someone I have a real connection with. After a lot of heartache, I’m learning you can’t control this and, like they say, maybe you’ll find it when you stop looking for it. But that’s easier said than done, right?