3 ‘Back to Basics’ Tips to Maintain Your New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year! Here it is, 2020 – the ‘roaring 20’s’ as I hear we are calling them – and as predicted, as soon as New Year’s Day rolled around yesterday, social media was covered with ‘inspirational’ quotes, photos comparing yourself from 2009 to 2019 and a list of achievements that your pals had made during 2019. New year, same shit.

January is always the time that every blogger and social media influencer gets on the self-help bandwagon, and sure, I guess this blog post *might* seem a little hypocritical…

The self-help industry is massive now, with thousands of books dedicated to telling you just what you should be doing to achieve your dreams, and probably an equal number of seminars and motivational speakers dedicated to getting you in the right “headspace” to live your best life. Not to mention those cheesy ‘girl boss’ quotes on white backgrounds that we mentioned before.

Moving into 2020 and thinking about how I can help make things better for myself, I’ve really tried to take things back to basics. When it comes to improving your health, your wealth, and your well-being, some of the most tried and true techniques out there are also actually very simple, all things considered.

Of course, the fact that they are “simple” doesn’t mean that they are “easy.”

2019 was a crap year for my family and I. We  unexpectedly lost two massive loved ones. My Dad has a major operation, my mum her own minor health issues and personally, well, my mental health was a real struggle. As Winter drew in however, I started to make tiny changes to try and achieve a more positive point of view and that being said, the ones I found most effective were the most ‘back to basics’ approaches.

Here are just three of those ‘back to basics’ tips to help you stick to your New Year’s Resolutions and have a positive start to 2020. 

Surround yourself with people who embody the kind of healthy lifestyle and positive attitude you want

At some point in your life – either now, or in the past – you’ve likely had a “friend” who has been a pretty terrible influence on you, and who has caused far more stress, trouble, and turmoil in your life than good. Trust me, in 2018 I had a close friendship with a girl friend a few years younger than me, who I grew close with through work, but outside of the office began to only cause trouble. At the time I thought she was just a little more immature, finding her way… In hindsight, my true friends could see right through her gaslighting and in 2019 I had a much more positive friendship circle without her in it.

Of course, we can’t place all the blame on someone else, but the type of people you are around definitely impacts your self-motivation; I’ve seen it happen both ways (positive and negative) to me.

On the other hand, in 2019 I have had very special, close friends of mine introduce me to a handful of their other close friends who have shown to have a wonderful impact on myself. I previously wrote about my friend Michele who I am honoured to be a bridesmaid for next year, and how she had brought together 5 of her best friends to plan her hen party. Through this, we have all grown a lot closer to each other and now arrange regular evenings together to catch up! In fact, a couple of us even celebrating seeing in the New Year together. At first, Michele was nervous that we might not all get on, but, like I told her, she is a wonderful, clever, kind and generous person – and she attracts the same. It’s really little surprise we all get on so well!

So, (if unlike Michele and our newly formed girly group of gal pals, and more like my first former ‘friend’ I mentioned), you surround yourself with people who are the opposite of the kind of values, habits, and attitudes you want to embody, you’re not just “putting up with them” from a neutral position. In all likelihood, you’re being actively dragged in directions you don’t want to go in.

Researchers have found good evidence that the people we surround ourselves with have a massive influence on our own lives and lifestyles, even on a subconscious level.

People with a lot of bitchy friends are proven to be more likely to start bitching themselves – and trust me, I’ve found myself being around those sorts of people and happily begin to cut them off last year. People who have a lot of binge-drinking friends are more likely to binge drink. People who have a lot of friends who constantly complain about everything, are more likely to end up constantly complaining about everything.

Surround yourself with people who embody the kind of healthy lifestyle and positive attitude that you want for yourself. The impact may be tremendous.

Work on developing the skill of doing things that you don’t want to do (but know you should do)

There are all sorts of books and videos out there about how to develop the right mindset to always feel “motivated” and “positive.” Trust me, at the end of 2019 I started to devour them and now like a new found addiction. And while it’s definitely good to have motivation and a positive attitude, there are always going to be times in your life when you just aren’t “feeling like it” but still have to get something done.

The people who are the most successful with getting and staying fit, achieving their dream jobs, and “making things happen” in general, have always developed the skill of doing things that they don’t want to do, but know they should do.

In the book, “The Willpower Instinct” by Kelly McGonigal, the author looks at evidence that willpower is key to success in life – and that it can be built up and developed through “training” in the art of doing things that you don’t really feel like doing.

Previously I wrote about starting personal training sessions with my PT, Sarah. Over the past 18 months, Sarah has not only single handily inspired me to regularly go to the gym – and stick at it – but has been a defining influence in my life thanks to her sheer will power. It is really thanks to her that I have morphed from someone who prior to 2018 had not stepped foot in a gym to someone who now may not physically look as I desire, but am stronger and more motivated than ever. She taught me that even when we don’t feel like it, or can’t really be arsed, getting our bodies moving, going to the gym, or just going for a simple walk, can really help to improve our mood. That if we are really lacking willpower, what is it? Have we been keeping moving and eating all our veggies? Are we staying balanced? What helps us keep on track and keep going? She really taught me that aside from anything, routine and consistency have a real positive impact on willpower. And personally, her own willpower is inspiring. To face some real trauma in her life and still be the most positive, understanding and calming influence in my life really is something special.

Develop your own willpower by doing things on a regular basis that you know will be good for you, but that you’re not “in the mood for.” Start small, and build your way up, like I did with the gym. I started going once a week to see Sarah, then moved to once a week on my own as well, and now I go 3-4 times a week in total (building up slowly over the course of 2 years!) to the point where it now feels normal. As you progress and become more comfortable with resisting junk food, or cooking wholesome meals for yourself every night, or getting 30 minutes of physical activity in each day, your capacity for exerting your willpower will expand significantly.

It doesn’t exactly sound “nice” or “fun” to become good at doing things that you don’t feel like doing – but the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that comes with getting stuff done is a lot better than the feelings of frustration and despair that come with not reaching your potential.

Stop procrastinating and putting off potentially uncomfortable but necessary actions

Everyone procrastinates sometimes. It’s just a fact of life that there will always be things that crop up from time to time that you need to deal with, but that you really don’t feel like dealing with… at least “not yet.”

But procrastination almost always has a serious and negative impact on your life, rather than making any of your problems go away, or reducing their severity even in the slightest.

Failing to deal with that red envelope from the bank quickly enough doesn’t save you any trouble down the line. Not booking your smear test when the doctors remind you because you might be on your period that week and the thought of that grosses you out a little (guilty!). And avoiding the dentist for years at a stretch does nothing in terms of improving your oral health, or keeping your smile intact.

Today I am feeling particularly smug about pushing myself out of my own comfort zone, as I have just completed a week long course of ice skating lessons! Having got back into watching ice hockey after my Winter trip to New York in 2017, I made the resolution in 2018 that I would learn to skate. 2018 passed and it got to my birthday in December where I finally decided that skating lessons would be a good present. Then, 2019 rolled by, and my birthday in December 2019 and I still hadn’t booked the bloody lessons. So, inspired by the positive motivational books I mentioned I had been devouring this Winter, I finally stopped nagging my friends to try and come with me, put off making excuses and cleared my diary to make time for them. This Christmas holidays, I’ve done it, and I’ve started the year by today, 2nd January, by ticking off the first of my New Year’s Resolutions – by learning to skate!

It was difficult, of course. The first day I was so anxious I could barely stand on the ice or let go of the side. I was terrified and felt humiliated at how bad I was, the only adult learning to skate in a class of tiny kids, all whom were better than me. The second day, I truly considered not going back – I wasn’t sure I could face the cringe factor and anxiety of failing again. But, as the days went by, my confidence grew, I started to enjoy the lessons instead of dread them and today, I even chose to stay later after the lessons to practice skating on my own! If you’d told me this time last week I would be skating around an ice rink solo I’d have scoffed!

Next time you are confronted with a potentially uncomfortable but necessary action that you should take, resist the urge to procrastinate and move forward, instead.

The more you can turn this into a habit, the better chance you have of fulfilling your New Year’s Resolutions and starting 2020 as you mean to go on; happy, healthy and more positive.